Now that you know how this whole thing started, I think it’s best to tell you what brought about the change, and what the change is.
Being overweight, you know you are. You don’t need anyone to tell you that you are fat (and while I’m on that topic, I find it fascinating that doctors don’t talk about it more – – shame on them!) But, back to me, you feel it when you walk. You feel it so much when you shop. And, to be a 30-something, single female, you feel it socially and professionally every single day.
I’m a pro at ignoring things… like Oscar worthy. Heck, I ignored my way up to 256 lbs…. unbelieveable. I did, however, decide finally to acknowledge the elephant in the room 3 weeks ago.
I travel a lot, and simply stated like that, it’s quite the understatement. I always have a suitcase in my room (in various states of packed and unpacked), and have hit the highest status on my airline, hotel, and car rental place. I sit in the VIP section on the plane (as I like to call it), not technically first-class on Frontier, and VIP sounds so much better than “Stretch Seating.” Being overweight, travel isn’t as comfortable, and let’s be honest, people prefer to sit with the skinny girl than the fat girl. My biggest fear travelling was that the seatbelt wasn’t going to fit. I mean it fits and there’s room, but with a few more bowls of Queso and Onion Rings, I may have to ask for that seatbelt extender. I just couldn’t. Certainly, I never would have to ask.
I took a trip to Tennessee about a month ago. I lived there for most of my life, but hadn’t been to visit in over a year. The days leading up to the trip, I realized that I was nervous to go. Seeing old friends, knowing that they too would see the fat I see everyday. Knowing that they would see that I’d slipped back into old habits, probably drove-thru too many times. The ladies I was visiting had seen me as thick and thin and were now about to see a version of me that I wasn’t proud of. Gosh, I was nervous.
Now, let me assure you, these were friends – – Girlfriends from college, sorority sisters, folks that don’t care what I look like, but wanted to see me. It’s easy to hide from over a thousand miles away. Nervous isn’t the best word. I’d say embarrassed, ashamed. The interesting part is that I absolutely knew that my weight wouldn’t matter to them, but that it oh-so-much mattered to me.
We visited and had a wonderful time. Got massages, ate at our old hangout an AMAZING Mexican restaurant. Just like old times. It was great. Then, the cameras came out.
In case you didn’t know, cameras don’t lie. They only capture what they see. The camera caught me, and from an angle I don’t usually allow. The good news is that it sparked change, and that I now have my “before” picture. The bad news is that I winced when I saw the reality of what I knew, but had been ignoring for so long.
Noted: This is a terrible angle for all of us, but I couldn’t shake the fact that I looked bigger than my pregnant friend standing right next to me.
My friend Jaede’s mom who was an old Weight Watchers buddy from back in the day recommended Jenny Craig. She had great success on it and looked amazing. I thought…. what could it hurt?
I felt completely out of control, and needed something new. I couldn’t walk back into Weight Watchers, a former loser walking in for the 5th or 6th time to start over. I just couldn’t.
So, on November 1st, 2011, I signed up for Jenny Craig, and have been doing great! -6.2 lbs the first week, and -2.6 lbs the second, I am well on my way to freeing myself from the burden of obesity.
I am truly hopeful and feel like I am FINALLY doing something to help myself. I plan to use this blog to capture my journey, and to hopefully inspire others on a similar adventure. I’ve posted that scary before pic above and stand by for progress pics as they become available.
Stay tuned, and have an apple! Fruiteaters, unite!