Note… I wrote this post last week on a flight, but I never got around to sharing it.
Much associated with the fact that I thought it just might be a bit of an overshare. And, there’s always that thing about facing what you’ve written. When you look back, is it what you wanted to say? Well, after hiding from it for a week, I’ve finally re-read it and have decided to share… and on this same flight back from Nashville, I wrote several posts. So, here’s the first….
I’m on a flight to Denver as I write this post. Not only was this weekend one of the best I’ve spent in a long time (much to the credit of my dear friends that I don’t see NEARLY enough and ADELE), but it was also one that got me thinking.
I’ve been thinking about my weight for the past month. Thinking about it, but not really doing that much about it. I mean, yes, I am eating healthily when I’m home. If you’re new here, know that I travel a LOT. Yes, I keep only the best healthy snacks in my fridge for me to reach for. But somehow, I’m still not doing ALL the things I need to be doing if I really plan to drop the weight.
As I fly home today, feeling swollen and bloated from way too much Southern food (Angela – we may need to cook next time), I’m thinking a lot about what’s next and what I’m going to actually do about it.
This morning, we wrapped up the trip with brunch at (what I believe to be) one of the best restaurants in Nashville: Margot. Their menu contains farm to table goodness, and a fresh menu every day. I enjoyed savory crepes for breakfast today, and while not the best choice in the world, it was the best choice I could make as a non-brunchy bruncher who doesn’t enjoy eggs.
My friend Justin joined Angela and I for brunch, and as usual, he got us talking about life a bit. About meditation, about what we’re doing to find joy. Truthfully: I need that some times. And, even more truthfully: Justin always shows up at the right time when I need a nudge. He’s on a spiritual journey of his own, and I love that he is generous to share his experience.
During lunch today, he mentioned that he has assembled a motivation group. The folks involved want to lose 30 lbs in the next few months. Hmmm… just at the moment I am trying to convince myself to lose 30 lbs a *MOTIVATION* group working on losing 30 lbs shows up? Coincidence? I think not!
Additionally, I share with him that I’m not practicing meditation as much as I’d like, and of course, he has a solution… that we all try the free Headspace app for 10 days (which I started today). BTW… it’s a little weird to meditate at the gate in the airport, but I did. And, no one cared. It was fine.
Lastly, he asked me if I was blogging about where I’m at right now. And, sheepishly, I said no. But why not is the bigger question?? As Justin shared, this is real life. This is what happens to people. They struggle. I struggle.
I’m struggling right now.
Yep, there you have it. I said it. I typed it (and bolded it for effect.)
I’m struggling. I don’t feel like I have a plan. And, while a lot of it has to do with what’s going into my mouth (obviously). My bigger challenge is that my brain does not feel like attempting to control what my hand picks up.
This weekend was an absolute exception. I typically don’t eat Fried Manchego Cheese at a tapas restaurant (but I did) or late night pizza post Adele concert and bar hopping in downtown Nashville (but I did). These things happen on vacation and when your spending time with your best girlfriends. It just does. I don’t worry too much about erasing these moments… what I do worry about is my ability to bounce back and what it’s going to take to get me back in the proverbial “zone.”
When I’m in the zone, I’m freakin unstoppable. So, why don’t I hop back in the zone? It’s a positive place to be. It’s bright and shiny there.
This is the detail I’m struggling with most. I know exactly what I need to be doing. I know exactly what it takes to lose the weight. I have the menu planning, the gym membership, and the cute sneakers to make this happen – – But I haven’t done it.
I see it happening around me. I see others embracing the “zone”, adopting a strategy, and executing… and I’m just watching, wishing, hoping, contemplating…
I like to post when I have a plan for getting back on track, but here’s the thing… I don’t right now. Heck, this flight is just beginning, so there’s still time. I’m sure by tomorrow, the motivation will come (how many times do we tell ourselves this).
Until then, I’m here pressing HARD on that reset button. Not ready to release it quite yet… for fear I didn’t push it hard enough.
And how appropriate that I mention fear in that analogy. Because, my friends, I think that’s who’s got the wheel right now.