I’ve been slowly-but-surely responding to the many questions you guys asked as part of my “Blogtastic Blogiversary Survey.”
I thought Valentine’s Week would be a great time to write about one of the topics you guys said you’d like to hear more about…. male attention.
There’s a lot of different directions I could go with this one. Do I get more male attention now that I’ve lost weight? Absolutely. Am I still single? Yep!
Around this time last year, I was actively online dating… and I thought it was a little bit fun. So many men to choose from online, and so many opportunities to communicate, but it quickly lost its luster. I’m really not looking for anyone to email.
I’m looking for the real deal…. now, getting that introduction could come via an online website, but the idea of spending MORE time everyday looking at a computer? Not so appealing to me.
And… truth… when you live in Colorado, every guy has an uber-outdoorsy profile that they’ve created that they hope is impressive and attractive to us single ladies. Oh hey, it’s me on a bike… check me out, I just climbed a mountain… here I am with the boys snowboarding, and… one last one when I caught a fish in Montana. Yeah, they all look the same and for a girl like me, I’m not really looking for all that…
I really just want a down to earth, health-minded, active, FUNNY guy who is KIND. Sounds simple, eh?
At times, I feel like Charlotte… surely you remember the scene where she says the following:
“I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he??”
When I think back to years past, I know the truth… I really wasn’t ready. The relationships I attracted were destined for disaster… heartbreak… and were foiled before they even began. That was by design. Had I ended up with any of those guys, seriously… I would have been divorced by now.
I have CHANGED so exponentially over the past few years… I know the person they met isn’t even close to the woman I’ve become today, and for that, I breathe a huge sigh of relief. Thank GOODNESS it didn’t work out… because I’m stronger now and available for what is to come next.
Also, it’s super-easy to think that miracles will happen once you lose the weight. The weight was what was holding me back. Because overweight people don’t fall in love. Love is reserved for the skinny. Yeah, that’s a lie I told myself as well….
So… do I have a great love story since I’ve lost the weight? Yes. But that love story isn’t the traditional kind. It isn’t the kind I see on-screen and consider so ideal and romantic.
It’s not even one of those vacation romances that make you wish summer would never end…
And it’s not one of those tragic stories where you’re happy to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all…
Truthfully, it doesn’t even involve anyone else… it’s really about ME. There’s something tremendously powerful about feeling good in your own skin, especially after you’ve spent 30+ years wishing you were in anyone else’s skin but your own.
There’s also something fantastic about standing tall and proud knowing you are a better version of yourself than you were yesterday. And even perhaps more importantly, you realize that you deserve so much more than you ever thought you were worthy of.
Spending another single Valentine’s Day is not really a big deal to me… I take pause and inventory of my single status, because it’s the societal norm is do so. Deep down, I know I’m getting closer and closer to finding someone who is prepared to be my partner-in-crime though… and that’s for the remaining 364 days of the year as well, not just on Valentine’s Day.
We’ll see what the new year has in store… it could very well surprise me. Let’s hope that it does!