There’s something happening over here, you guys.
I don’t know if it’s what happens to me in May or if it’s the fact that I turn 40 in January, but I’ve been incredibly pensive and introspective lately. I’m taking inventory. I’m sizing up the situation. Mostly, I’m trying more and more to live in the moment.
Live in the moment… yeah, that’s sounds cliche. I get it, but it’s not if you really think about it. It’s how we all should be living every day of our life…
Something happened this weekend that really got me thinking… I have a friend of mine who shared with me that she has to do some pretty significant medical testing. You see, she has a direct genetic tie to a debilitating, crippling disease – – one that she has about a 50-50 chance of having.
She’s positive and is doing the testing so she’ll know… so it’s not just looming out there as a worry. I can’t even imagine waiting for those types of test. She’s tremendously strong though… and she’ll be incredible either way.
Here’s something she said that stuck with me: Her doctor told her that if the test comes back positive, he expects her to stop saving for retirement and to start LIVING every moment she has left. As I type this, I’m literally tearing up at the thought of it. This lady is FIERCE, you guys. And, the thought of us not being two little old ladies drinking too much wine at dinner is a little too much to think about.
So back to happy thoughts. I’m not sharing this because it’s sad. I’m not sharing it with you to share the details of my friend’s predicament. I’m sharing it because of the conversation that followed.
“You know what, why don’t we do that anyway? Shouldn’t that be how we want to live in this world?” I said this not only to my friend, but to myself.
I’ve made 2016 a year of yes. When people ask me if I want to go do something, the answer is yes. My world has changed quite a bit over the past 6 months, and it’s important that I get out of the house and see my peeps. Similarly, I’ve recently booked an adventure for Memorial Day… that scares the bejeezus out of me because I’m going alone… but I’m going.
I’m learning more and more that as you get older, grown up shit keeps happening: Medical scares, layoffs, parents dying (not mine – they’ve been advised they’re not allowed), addictions, divorces… all the things that you never want to have happen. And, somehow, we power through. We don’t always have the right words to say in the moment, but we’re there. And, if this shit is happening to the stellar people in my life, let me assure you… it can happen to anyone. Right now, I thankfully and with extreme gratitude do not have anything like this holding me back right now… and I need to take advantage of it fully.
Here’s what I’m proposing: Let’s seek out the happy. Let’s live for the moment. Let’s seek out the joy.
And… when I suggest this, I absolutely know that it will mean something different for each of us. To some, running a marathon might just be the thing that will bring you joy. That’s not for me… for me, it might mean finally adopting a meditation practice or making that trip to see that friend I’ve been talking about visiting forever or it may be something that hasn’t even crossed my path yet. Whatever it is, who the heck knows what tomorrow will bring… it’s time.
For the past year, I’ve been struggling with the thought of 40. When I look at it as a number and as the time in our lives when all the grown-up stuff starts to happen, it doesn’t seem appealing. But, there’s also a lot of looking in the rearview mirror that’s begun. My 20s (while INCREDIBLY fun) were a mess – living paycheck to paycheck, making bad choices in men, clawing my way out of credit card debt, and spending every day making sure that it all didn’t fall apart. My 30s became more stable – my career was on track, I used my lessons from the 20s to create a strong foundation, I bought a home, and I finally got my health in order. My 40s… well, they just might be the time for me to ENJOY IT ALL. You heard me – ENJOY IT!
While we’re always looking for ways to improve ourselves in some way, at the same time I believe it can be ok to just be ok with life… While it’s not perfect, I’m pretty darn proud of this life I’m living.
About a year ago, I embarked upon my #HappinessTourKG… and for 2016, I’m refreshing it with a new name #JourneyToJoyKG. I’ll write about it more in upcoming weeks, but this weekend, I’ve become 100% and completely dedicated to this effort. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, nor what 40 will entail… but there will be joy. And lots of it.