I love my life. Seriously.
I feel so lucky for this little life I live. Yes, there’s times when I dream of having more… of having it all, but overall, I’m pretty darn lucky. After all, I have a home that I love, family and friends I adore, and I even have this little space all of my own on the internet that makes me smile.
I am incredibly grateful for it all.
Despite all this greatness, there’s one thing that challenges me every single day of the week. Something that I don’t always talk about: My challenges with food are far from over.
I’ve come an incredibly long way since I started this journey over three years ago. I’ve learned to eat healthier. I reach for fruits and veggies instead of bags of chips and stacks of cookies, but I still have my days.
It’s those days where I just want to be “like everyone else” and eat “anything I want.” In reality, I don’t want to be like everyone else. I don’t want to be like 2/3 of Americans who are overweight… I want to be phenomenal and I want to be a normal weight.
I want those last two more than I’d ever want an order of onion rings, but there’s time when I find it to be unbelievably hard to resist. Truth be told: It’s been FOREVER since I’ve eaten onion rings… that’s just an example. One day it’s onion rings, another day it’s just a big salad with REAL ranch dressing and bacon bits.
My latest challenge is a candy bowl that’s on the counter at work. It has the best-worst kind of candy in it… best because it’s my favorite, worst because most people don’t like it and they’re always left behind.
Yes, I’ve been in them every day lately… and it could be so much worse.
Living in maintenance… It can be a challenge. You never really get to “just be,” but that’s not what I signed up for. I didn’t sign up for easy, but I don’t think I really realized that losing the weight wouldn’t be the hardest part of this journey. For so many years, losing was the only part I could focus on. Now I realize there’s so much more to this process.
Easy would have been choosing to stay 256 lbs (even though that wasn’t very easy either.)
Easy would be giving into every craving that I have every day of the week. Easy would be laying on my couch at night every night instead of hitting the yoga studio or the gym.
I didn’t sign up for easy… and I’m never looking back.
While every day is a challenge and every day I have to say “no thanks” to something I feel I desperately want. I’m maintaining my weight loss. Every day, I choose healthy.
Every day, I try and everyday, I recommit. I’m far from perfect, and I’m trying each and every day to accept that about myself.
Each day I make it to the gym, I smile… Every day I choose to start again is a great day… and ultimately, I know that I am incredibly lucky to be on this journey and for all I’ve learned along the way.
Thanks for listening… this maintenance story is far from over.